10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier