10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz