10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Welcome to kicker school
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.