10 Random Poker Quotes

Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
"Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
"Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
"So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)