10 Random Poker Quotes

• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss