10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)