10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."