10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'