10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)