10 Random Poker Quotes

• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.