10 Random Poker Quotes

• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Poker is for loners.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.