10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.