10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio