10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.