10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.