10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson