10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim