10 Random Poker Quotes

• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe